Time is now.

Time is then.

Time is eternal.

Time is gone.

When did it start?

Where did it began?

How could this be?

Time is here.

Too soon.

Too soon

It is all –

Too soon!

18 now.

1 then.

Everything is different –

But nothing has changed!

How can this be?!

Too soon!

18 too soon!

17 too short!

It’s unavoidable

But this came too fast.

I Hate this!

I fear this!

Why do I feel this way?

When did I change?

I wished for it every day,

But now that it’s here I want it to go away!

Too soon!

Everyone’s different…

No one changed…

Things aren’t the same…

Confused. Confused.

Fear, anger, pain.

18 too soon.

Make it go away!

I’m scared! I’m scared!

Alone. Alone. Ghost.

No voice. No heart. No soul

18 too soon.

Where am I now?

What happened to me?

Why did I change?

Happy Birthday, Valerie…




Human Beings

Nothing is perfect.

Nothing is great.

Nothing is real.

We are just animals.

The worse kind.

Not cute.

Not sweet.

But insane Humans.

We have never

Been and never

Will be perfect.

God made us that way.

What is perfect?

Not us.

The closest we have

Is fiction novels.

Perfect is nothing

More than beautiful

Lies from a


What is Religion?

The belief in perfect.

Doesn’t matter

What you believe in.

Catholic, Christian,

Muslim, Jewish, Hindus,

Taoist, Polytheistic, Buddhist,

Wiccan, Islamic, etc.

No matter what

Their books say,

They all worship

The idea of perfection.

A perfect God.

A perfect afterlife.

A perfect hell.

Perfect, perfect, perfect!

I love God.

That is true.

I don’t insult him.

And I actually try to meet his expectations.

But I don’t

Know what I am.

 Am I Christian? I believe

In Jesus Christ.

Am I Buddhist?

I believe in reincarnation.

Am I Taoist?

I believe in equal balance.

Am I Wiccan?

I believe in harmony

With nature and

Using its healing powers.

What am I?

In God’s eyes?

In everyone’s eyes?

Not perfect.

I don’t believe in

Romance. I don’t

Believe humans can

Ever be perfect in love.

There is no perfect

Belief because

No one follows

The rules of God.

The bible says

God can be persuaded

By a mere man that

Destroying a town of sinners is wrong.

God is vengeful and

Jealous, but this man

Can question him?

In the bible it is ok?

It says two sisters

Spelt with their holy

Father to help him

Forget the recent death of their mother.


Lying to save your life.

Sacrificing children and animals.

Is commended in the Bible!

It says nothing about

Gay marriage and relationships being

A sin and that only

A Man and Woman can love each other.

Killing in the

Name of God and

Your beliefs is

Not in it either.

So why are humans

Saying it’s there?

They must be lying,

Cause I cannot find it.

I’m not here to diss God

Or his words, but to

Say that everything going on today,

Is confusing me even more about Perfection.




Thoughts of the Bored





They say draw.

Draw what?

They say write.

Write what?

There are no thoughts…

There are no feelings…

There are no words…

…To express.

I am bored.

Bored I am.

I Think, I Yearn, I Implore

To do.

I am tired.

I am not.

I am hungry.

I am not.

These are just

Physical means to pass time.

There is no joy.

There is no thing.




My heart is the –

Weeping river –

Traveling through rapids

And the harsh life –

Until it reaches –

The waterfall of death.

My love for you

Is the high tide

On a rocky beach

Which is not strong enough

To erode away the assuming –

And cold boulders surrounding

Your heart.

My life is not an open book,

But loose pages

Scattered across

The four corners of your world.

Some are near…

But others are out of grasp.




Hanging loosely on the wall.

Every day there for all.

Walk up to it for a peak.

Shining back, pale and meek.

See yourself in its rims.

Your reflection grins.

For this is not you,

But what is true.

Deep desires locked away.

All come out to play.

Reveal themselves to the world.

Nature of heart is swirled.

Molded to show

What you wish to not know.

Monstrosity and sin

Is what you have been.

Hide it all from your friends

Family and all that bends.

But you can’t deny what’s true

This is the real you.





As I walk down the hallway,

I notice there is many things to see.

If I look into the eyes of others

I will see what they wish no one else to see…

As I think back on my life,

I have heard evil.

I have seen evil.

I have done evil.

Spoke it; dreamed it;

Wished it; even more!

It is all around me…

… It is in me…

Some people like to share…

Some like to care…

Some like to experiment…

Some don’t even dare.

If you look at me, what do you see?

A shy smile; a modest form;

A soft voice; a pink blush…

Yet is it real?

Don’t ask me.

I won’t tell.

I can’t tell,

For I don’t know myself…

Am I so good at

Hiding my feelings that

No one will ever believe

That This is how I am?

Am I a sheep in

Wolf’s clothing,

Or is it the other

Way around?

I know how I can be…

It is so easy…

To let it all out,

And ruin it all.

If I do snap

And not turn back…

…Will I change


I am tied…

I am bound…

I’m on the floor…

…To lure you in.

You see me,

Helpless and scared.

Your hand reaches to help,

Then I smirk and chain you there.

It’s all a trick!

It’s all a lie!

I am sick!

I am deprived…

You are shocked.

You ask why.

I bound you more.

“You are mine.”

I have my way.

You have no choice.

You are my pet.

I am torn.

I don’t want to hurt you!

But I love to see blood…

I don’t want to hurt you!

But I love to see tears…

I am sick! I am sick!

How can I think that way?!

I will release you… but

… Will you stay?

I can be loving.

I can be caring.

I can be submissive.

Will you help me?

I have calmed.

I am at peace.

But I may snap again…

…Don’t leave, please.

I can be controlling.

I can be obedient.

I can be sadistic.

I can be healing.

I am two.

Not one.

I love it both!

I can’t choose at all.

If you like soft,

But not demanding.

If you like it rough,

But not sweet.

You are not for me.

You buy one

You get the other.

Like an Airheads Extreme.