Four Years

Has time gone by so fast?

Who really thought this would last?

Friends, smiles and having a blast.

Now the die has been cast.

Look at all the years gone.

All those games we had won.

All the dates we’ve been on.

Deciding our path with the pro and con.

Look at the picture of a football game.

One will tell you what had came.

One will tell you how it was lame.

So many memories for one night; none the same.

Who knows what the future brings?

Which of us will sing?

Which of us gets the bling?

Which of us with a wedding ring?

Freshmen year, child’s play.

Full of games and groups way.

Laughter on day by day.

But the year could not stay.

Tenth grade full of hearts.

Through betrayal did take part.

Time to make Love start.

Trust took the form of a dart.

Junior year full gloom.

Exams made no room.

For time kept memories to bloom.

Broken up for doom.

Last time for History.

Lays a head a mystery.

Onwards to satisfactory.

Seniors now to reach victory.

Down these halls were such a bliss.

Gooding off and earning a kiss.

 Most of all I’m going to miss.

The family I had made in this.

Remember those we came to befriend.

Now the year has come to an end.

Graduation is around the bend.

Congratulations Class of Two Thousand Ten!

 

https://www.patreon.com/Kamia

Thoughts on Regret

My life is shit.

There is no denying it.

My mom is one of the worst.

To me at least.

I know there are

Far more worse people

With children’s living through hell.

They are evil.

Just cause they have

Worse lives, I’m

Told to be grateful.

For what?

Because they survive?

They don’t choose it.

They don’t like it.

Some even die.

But I’m not them.

I can’t live like this.

I can’t survive mentally

And physically this way.

If I could, I would

Switch places with

The younger children

Suffering from abuse, starvation, war, etc.

I can’t live with

Guilt, remorse,

Rage, sorrow,

Hatred, etc.

He did the worst

Thing you could

Do to one with

Abandonment issues.

He hurt me

An infinite

Times worse

Then she did.

She was my

Best friend

And almost

A sister…

He thought

There was

More to it

With her.

They fought.

They yelled.

They hurt and

Left me to die.

He knew.

She didn’t.

I didn’t.

That I had cared for her more than that…

I realize it

Now. That

Makes it

Hurt more…

She hurt me

A trillion

Times worse

Than mom.

Mom had me.

Mom raised me

Until I turned four.

Then she blamed me.

She took me from

Dad and left

Me home alone

At eight.

She yelled and

Blamed me

For everything

Including little bro’s death.

She neglected.

She ignored

Me during illness,

Ostracization, and more.

How many

Time did i

Try to end it

Then she walks in?

She didn’t stop it.

She saw me hang.

She saw the blood.

She saw the tears.

She saw it all.

But overlooked it.

She left me

To die!

But I didn’t.

I couldn’t.

I wouldn’t for

My brothers.

For my father

And “sisters”

And “brothers”

And friends.

I couldn’t

Now I’m here again.

Knife in my back.

Noose around neck.

Pills in my mouth.

Water in my lungs.

Gun to my heart.

But I’m still here.

I survived…

…For now.

I’m alone

I’m alone.

I care too much.

I love too much.

I hurt too much.

Take it away.

Cut open my

Chest; pull out

My heart and

Seal my back up.

I can’t trust it.

I can’t use it.

It is already grounded to dust,

So why should I bother?

 

https://www.patreon.com/Kamia

 

Amore Finice

I had trusted him!

How could he?

I had loved him!

How could he?

He was everything

To me,

So, how could he

Do that?!

He deceived me.

He deceived our teachers.

He deceived my parents.

He deceived everyone!

I did everything

For him.

I did everything

He asked.

So how could he?!

How could he treat me like that?

How could he treat my friends like that?

How could he treat my parents like that?

Was I not enough?

To love him.

To shelter his heart…

To care for him.

He’s a bad man.

No not a man…

A man wouldn’t treat a girl like that.

He’s a child.

Rude.

Selfish.

Cruel.

Manipulative.

I hate him!

I loved him…

Not anymore…

Never again!

God, why did he do it?

Why did he use me?

Why did he hurt me?

How could he?

 

https://www.patreon.com/Kamia

Abandoned

Life dulls.

Time halts.

Love is gone.

Hope, there’s none.

If misery loves company

Then it must be true

Cause all I want

Is a hug or two.

Who to trust?

Who to care for?

How do you know when

The last two betrayed you?

She was m friend,

Sister, even.

He was my love,

Married to be.

She hated him.

He hated her.

Tried to work it out.

Then forced me to choose.

I could not.

I would not.

It was too cruel.

So they left.

They laughed…

They cussed…

They fought…

…at me.

They wished for my suffering

Granted.

They wished for my death.

Almost true…

I am alone.

I am afraid.

Everything is dark.

Is this the end?

I see my friends.

They smile at me.

Then she comes.

They are gone.

Only few remain.

They are my “sister”.

They are my “brothers”.

One is my crush.

He knows what I’ve been through.

Suffered almost the same.

He doesn’t judge.

I hope to call him friend.

 

 

https://www.patreon.com/Kamia

Over You

It has been

Almost a year

Since our love

Was torn apart…

You had

Gotten over it

In almost

One week or less…

I’m finally

Starting to

Move on

From you…

I never

Want to see

You again.

Yet I cry still.

49% of

My heart

Loves you.

50% hates.

The last

1% is

Only for

Friendship.

 

https://www.patreon.com/Kamia

Apologize

I only wanted a little girl.

You wanted one, too.

A girl to show the world!

To me there was nothing else to do.

I lost her.

You didn’t know.

It was something I couldn’t bare.

So I hid her away.

She was buried.

She was prayed for.

She was prayed to.

She was forgotten…

You only seem to argue.

I only seem to cry.

I’ve just remembered her…

Yet I still did not tell you.

You leave me.

You say there is…

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