When I’m Alone

The walls close around me

Sounds lowers into white noise

Before sudden stillness of silence follows

The air freezes in my lungs

My eyes cannot focus on anything

Not on myself nor what is in front of me

There is no smell distinguishable, but the overwhelming

Feeling of panic makes that thought disappear.

The heart squeezes as chills

Run down my spine.

Fingers clench, digging deeper and deeper

To the muscle underneath

Wrists pop before shaking in a desperate

Attempt to throw off the fear.

Knees buckle as stress build too much

Then smash to the ground beneath.

I try to raise again, but my ankles will not cooperate.

Instead they find a familiar joint to lock in place.

The spine caves and forms a curve

As hands reach out for a comforting support.

There is nothing to hold onto, but

The shivering crossed calves.

Sudden intake of breath begins to quicken

As realization takes hold in the mind.

“Why am I so scared? I was doing just fine!”

A mantra forms as words are whispered.

“Nothing happened to day! Nothing happened today!”

“Why can I not calm down?”

“Nothing happened today! Nothing happened today!”

“Please, make my fears go away…”



Tell Me

Look into my eyes

And tell me what you see…

Do you see me?

Do you see my heart?

Tell me why you’re quiet,

Tell me please.

Don’t you love me?

Don’t you care?

I still love you,

So don’t you dare!

Why are you crying?

Tears are falling from your eyes.

Is it me?

Is it you?

Tell me why you’re quiet,

Tell me please.

Don’t you love me?

Don’t you care?

I still love you,

So don’t you dare!

I want to know why

I want you to tell me.

You’re packing your bags…

You’re breaking my heart.

Tell me why you’re quiet,

Tell me please.

Don’t you love me?

Don’t you care?

I still love you,

So don’t you dare!

Tell me why you’re quiet,

Tell me please.

Don’t you love me?

Don’t you care?

I still love you,

So don’t you dare!

You’re a jerk!

To lead me on…

To make me think that –

We had something.

Come back, will you please?

Come back and look into my eyes!

Tell me what you see.

Do you see me?




“She loved to read.” cried the books with the broken backs.

“She hardly went to sleep.” the clock on the bedpost snoozed.

“She loved to listen to music.” the CD player with the run-out batteries complained.

“She loved to paint, draw, and make other crafts.” the art set cheered.

“She watched TV.” said the remote control on the bed.

“She was very messy.” said the unmade bed and clothes on the floor.

“She loved to write stories.” the papers in the binders on the shelves retold.

“She cared for her family and friends.” the pictures on the walls and shelves said.

“She was very sad and lonely.” the ever fresh tear stains on the green carpet remembered.

“She always wanted to help others.” the walls echoed.



My Knight

Maybe I’ll find… Away… To say… Goodbye… To you! My Knight… In tainted covers.

It’s time to say… Goodnight! My knight… in painted armor.

You once were… so clean… and kind to me, but now you’ve fallen… into … Dishonor!

Maybe someday… I’ll find… A way to change your mind. To bring… Back the light! My Knight!

But now is not… That time… For that rhyme. I must bid… Goodbye… To my Knight… In shining… Blinding…





Years Ago

Little kids on the playground.

Trying to get higher on the swing.

As I sit here I can’t help but to think.

“How did it some to this?”

Three years ago…

When I’m sitting here with HIM.

I never once thought…

“He would cheat on me like this.”

Five years ago…

When I’m jogging with my dad.

I never once imagined…

“I would fall so low.”

Seven years ago…

When I’m in the jungle gym…

I never once believed…

“I would ever find love.”

Over ten years ago…

When I’m playing in the park.

I never once guessed…

“I would lose all trust in everyone.”

But here I am.

Swinging on this swing.

Thinking to myself.

“How did it comes to this?”




It’s happening again.

Back to that day.

Cruel black dragon

Of despair and Cray.

Alone and broken

Heart Shattered

Soul taken

Nothing mattered.

Oh, word I dread!

Have I become this once more?

Savior had cut me red;

Filled with gore.

Dead inside.

Memories come to haunt.

Nowhere left to hide.

All left to taunt.

Where did he go?

Why did he leave?

Nothing to tow.

I can only heave.

He was the only one

That could see,

What everyone else wrung,

The real me.

I am a Ghost

Once more

The up most

What he could wore.

My medium

Has left

My continuum

And theft.

I need him

Hated he may be.

Chance meeting grim

Yet it is only he.

Until then I’ll wait

For his heart’s rhyme.

Love locked in a crate.

I am a Ghost for the 2nd time.