When I’m Alone

The walls close around me

Sounds lowers into white noise

Before sudden stillness of silence follows

The air freezes in my lungs

My eyes cannot focus on anything

Not on myself nor what is in front of me

There is no smell distinguishable, but the overwhelming

Feeling of panic makes that thought disappear.

The heart squeezes as chills

Run down my spine.

Fingers clench, digging deeper and deeper

To the muscle underneath

Wrists pop before shaking in a desperate

Attempt to throw off the fear.

Knees buckle as stress build too much

Then smash to the ground beneath.

I try to raise again, but my ankles will not cooperate.

Instead they find a familiar joint to lock in place.

The spine caves and forms a curve

As hands reach out for a comforting support.

There is nothing to hold onto, but

The shivering crossed calves.

Sudden intake of breath begins to quicken

As realization takes hold in the mind.

“Why am I so scared? I was doing just fine!”

A mantra forms as words are whispered.

“Nothing happened to day! Nothing happened today!”

“Why can I not calm down?”

“Nothing happened today! Nothing happened today!”

“Please, make my fears go away…”

 

https://www.patreon.com/Kamia

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