Deprived

As I walk down the hallway,

I notice there is many things to see.

If I look into the eyes of others

I will see what they wish no one else to see…

As I think back on my life,

I have heard evil.

I have seen evil.

I have done evil.

Spoke it; dreamed it;

Wished it; even more!

It is all around me…

… It is in me…

Some people like to share…

Some like to care…

Some like to experiment…

Some don’t even dare.

If you look at me, what do you see?

A shy smile; a modest form;

A soft voice; a pink blush…

Yet is it real?

Don’t ask me.

I won’t tell.

I can’t tell,

For I don’t know myself…

Am I so good at

Hiding my feelings that

No one will ever believe

That This is how I am?

Am I a sheep in

Wolf’s clothing,

Or is it the other

Way around?

I know how I can be…

It is so easy…

To let it all out,

And ruin it all.

If I do snap

And not turn back…

…Will I change

Completely?

I am tied…

I am bound…

I’m on the floor…

…To lure you in.

You see me,

Helpless and scared.

Your hand reaches to help,

Then I smirk and chain you there.

It’s all a trick!

It’s all a lie!

I am sick!

I am deprived…

You are shocked.

You ask why.

I bound you more.

“You are mine.”

I have my way.

You have no choice.

You are my pet.

I am torn.

I don’t want to hurt you!

But I love to see blood…

I don’t want to hurt you!

But I love to see tears…

I am sick! I am sick!

How can I think that way?!

I will release you… but

… Will you stay?

I can be loving.

I can be caring.

I can be submissive.

Will you help me?

I have calmed.

I am at peace.

But I may snap again…

…Don’t leave, please.

I can be controlling.

I can be obedient.

I can be sadistic.

I can be healing.

I am two.

Not one.

I love it both!

I can’t choose at all.

If you like soft,

But not demanding.

If you like it rough,

But not sweet.

You are not for me.

You buy one

You get the other.

Like an Airheads Extreme.

 

https://www.patreon.com/Kamia

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