Abandoned

Life dulls.

Time halts.

Love is gone.

Hope, there’s none.

If misery loves company

Then it must be true

Cause all I want

Is a hug or two.

Who to trust?

Who to care for?

How do you know when

The last two betrayed you?

She was m friend,

Sister, even.

He was my love,

Married to be.

She hated him.

He hated her.

Tried to work it out.

Then forced me to choose.

I could not.

I would not.

It was too cruel.

So they left.

They laughed…

They cussed…

They fought…

…at me.

They wished for my suffering

Granted.

They wished for my death.

Almost true…

I am alone.

I am afraid.

Everything is dark.

Is this the end?

I see my friends.

They smile at me.

Then she comes.

They are gone.

Only few remain.

They are my “sister”.

They are my “brothers”.

One is my crush.

He knows what I’ve been through.

Suffered almost the same.

He doesn’t judge.

I hope to call him friend.

 

 

https://www.patreon.com/Kamia

Advertisements

Over You

It has been

Almost a year

Since our love

Was torn apart…

You had

Gotten over it

In almost

One week or less…

I’m finally

Starting to

Move on

From you…

I never

Want to see

You again.

Yet I cry still.

49% of

My heart

Loves you.

50% hates.

The last

1% is

Only for

Friendship.

 

https://www.patreon.com/Kamia

Apologize

I only wanted a little girl.

You wanted one, too.

A girl to show the world!

To me there was nothing else to do.

I lost her.

You didn’t know.

It was something I couldn’t bare.

So I hid her away.

She was buried.

She was prayed for.

She was prayed to.

She was forgotten…

You only seem to argue.

I only seem to cry.

I’ve just remembered her…

Yet I still did not tell you.

You leave me.

You say there is…

View On WordPress

Apologize

I only wanted a little girl.

You wanted one, too.

A girl to show the world!

To me there was nothing else to do.

I lost her.

You didn’t know.

It was something I couldn’t bare.

So I hid her away.

She was buried.

She was prayed for.

She was prayed to.

She was forgotten…

You only seem to argue.

I only seem to cry.

I’ve just remembered her…

Yet I still did not tell you.

You leave me.

You say there is nothing left.

I die inside.

I finally can’t take it anymore.

I tell the truth.

You don’t believe me at first.

You lie saying you had a girl before.

I cry because I still believe that’s true.

You apologize.

For hurting me so long ago.

I forgive you.

I can’ trust you.

You swoon me, again.

But you are already taken!

Are you using her?

Are you using me?

I ask for help.

You agree.

Things get better…

Then you leave.

We fight.

You’re confused.

I’m lonely.

We fight.

You leave me again.

You say we’re no longer friends.

You say you’re glad she’s gone.

Apologize.

You knew I wanted a daughter.

Apologize.

You knew I lost her.

Apologize.

You know I could become sterol!

Apologize!

You shattered the remaining pieces of my heart…

Please… apologize…

 

https://www.patreon.com/Kamia

dirtypuzzle:

Fanfic really messed up my concept of how much I’ve actually written

I love fanfic, and I love its structure and what it usually focuses on, and I don’t have a lot bad to say about it, honestly.

But.

Just today I had a Google Doc open and saw that I was at about ~5k words. And I thought, “That’s almost nothing. I should be farther along.”

I checked the page count (12 pt font Libre Baskerville), and it was at 12. If I printed it out, it would be 12 pages of material. That’s a decent goddamn amount of work, to be entirely honest. Not too crazy, but I checked a long fic I’d written that’s at ~75k words. That technically counts as novel length. Novel length.

I love fanfic, but its really skewed my idea of how much I’ve actually written, and anyone else who came from a fanfic background, don’t forget that 7k one-shots are actually a helluva lot or writing, longer than a lot of undergrad papers are supposed to be.

Don’t beat yourself up over wordcount!